An introduction...

I am 34. We, my wife and I, were married at 23 and 22 respectively and in spite of our diagnosis of “unexplained infertility” (a particularly frustrating, slippery thing if you ask me!)  have been trying to conceive for about 10 years.   In all this time we have had one miscarriage but no other breakthrough to speak of.

Infertility has a knack of disenfranchising you, quietly, and, in my case, slowly pushing you to the edges of your friendship groups, your interests and even the edge of yourself.  Personally speaking it has caused me both shock and numbness in painful juxtapose.  I suspect this has been compounded by my being a man and apparently unable to verbalise my sadness and anger at our unexplained loss.

Being a man, and furthermore the only one I know living through infertility, has left me rather isolated and often up in to the small hours with just a pen and paper to keep me company.  I don’t profess to be the next poet laureate but what I write has helped me. 

Writing for me has been the vent I have needed and wanted, with no other intended audience but myself and perhaps my other half providing her a way in to my “cave”.  Occasionally it has made me cry reading back my words on the page but I have always felt relieved and lighter.  The greater self-awareness writing has given me means I feel better equipped to tackle another day slightly less burdened than the day before.

Which leads me to this Blog... there must be other guys out there going through infertility? Or wives/girlfriends/women  intersted to know what your average Caveman thinks and feels about infertility?  Well if this is you read on and enjoy.  If this is not you read on, open minded and open hearted, the road "we" (people living through infertility) travel is a road less travelled and poorly understood.

It won't all be negative (promise!), to my surprise I have in fact found many gems along the way. Least of all the inner strength and beauty of my amazing wife.  We are fortunate infertility has brought us together and not driven us apart.

So why "infertilityexposed"?  In my case infertility has been hidden, endured silently and often alone.  It is often brutal and often an unsolvable problem.  It gets at you from the inside out.  This blog puts out there the thoughts and feelings I have sadly not had chance to share with friends.  This is infertilityexposed.